COURAGE NEEDED AND WISDOM GAINED

I am told that this remarkable fellow is known in literature as "Father Courage". Courage is an interesting word. Here's what great minds have said about it:

Helen Keller:
We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.
Henry David Thoreau:
When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
James Freeman Clarke:
Conscience is the root of all true courage; if a man would be brave let him obey his conscience.
John Quincy Adams:
Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.

Of course I love Thoreau's and John Quincy Adams the best. It took a lot of it to put on "A Little Bit of Broadway" I invested a lot, gained a lot of courage and wisdom, but I also lost a big one. In all the effort to invest in the show, including refreshment funds, tickets, nice programs, props etc. etc, I neglected to make the payment on my second car and on Tuesday, they came to re-possess it. In all of my life, I have NEVER had a car or anything else for that matter re-possessed. Now true, it was an older car, a 2003 Ford Focus-- yes, that same Ford Focus that was in that accident back in October of 2006 , hit by a lady without a license and insurance and the one that I invested so much repair money into, but it was a big, big devastating blow. I've barely left the house since. My credit is now shot. Now, it's true, by walking away I will save $257.00 a month in car payments and $49 a month in insurance, but it's still a big blow for me. Blame the show? Well, I almost did-- but it was ME-- not that show. I managed to pay for the playhouse rental, but let too many other expenses do me in. Well, lesson learned the hard way. I am trying to motivate myself into continuing, but its very hard. Guess, I'll be stuck in this apartment a long time unless I win the lottery. I can't even motivate myself to go to church today. But, maybe this is just another way to show me that "God Draws Straight With Crooked Lines". I need for Him to show me that just about now. A little sign from Him would sure help. I guess it will take some time and I really need to find a job, but I can't even get an interview and all applications are handled on line these days! Maybe an answer will come along. I sure the hell hope so.